Wednesday, March 24, 2010

You Know This Barbeque Chicken Is Going to Be Awesome If I Can See My Reflection in It

I have no idea why I chose that title. I guess while reading "Eat, Pray, Love" by Gilbert, I kept envisaging finding myself in my food. Like my face staring up from my plate of spaghetti and shouting an excited, "Hello!" Thus, I was reminded of my friend Bobby, the child who needed to have a recorder strapped to his forehead due to all the magnificent pearls of wisdom that dropped from his ever-flapping jaws. This was only one out of his plethora of magnificent comments... which so happens to be my favorite next to "Stan, if you're going to tell us what pirate movie you saw, don't say 'the one with the boat.'" It's funny that whenever I read memoirs, I cannot help but dimly reflect on my past and suppress the urge to gorge myself in divine chocolate. Thinking about myself makes me hungry. And, if you take a look at my body, you can see I don't do that often.

Eat, Pray, and Love was all about Mrs. Liz, the author who just couldn't find herself or her place in life. Join the club, girl. You can sit next to me, the weird quiet one. I promise I won't interrupt your fit of introspective and perpetual babble. As you sort yourself out, I'll reach for a bar of chocolate and think about butterflies. It'll make the time go by so much faster.

I guess what I am trying to elucidate here is that I am somewhat jealous that Gilbert could engulf herself in soul-searching indulgence all while slurping down Italy's finest pizza or breaking her celibacy with a Brazilian. Man, it must be so great to be able to multi-task to that extreme. I can't even think about my plans for tomorrow without God striking them incumbent. No, seriously. I am much like Liz in the beginning of her book, only not prostate on the bathroom floor and sobbing into the floor tiles... or with a good lump of money in my bank account. Oops, I must be talking about myself... I was just handed a slice of Red Velvet Cake. I'm eating it with chopsticks since I am devoid of a useful pronged utensil. (Proof here: )

I have absolutely no idea where I will be heading in life. Whenever I look forward to a promising position with hope, the dream is ruthlessly shattered and I am left to dream on. It's somewhat terrible actually. I cannot run into some sheltered temple in India, all I can do is hide behind the deep fryer in Sangam and hope for the best. It's almost the same thing. Anyways, I had two recent plans completely shatter via hand of fate or God. These happenings injure my delicate pride and make me wish I hadn't finished my red velvet slice so quickly. One involves grad school and the other involves being a potential author... both have blown up in my face and now I am filling out applications for Dunkin' Donuts. I grew up with the pre-existing knowledge of never looking forward to anything or placing all my eggs in one basket. Murphy loves me too much to ever let me feel comfortable with my destiny. It is always flipping and gyrating around my head like a water-deprived octopus. It's hard to explain, but I guess the simplest way of putting it is that I go with the flow... it's the only path I am allowed to take. Oh well, having a solid plan might be boring anyway, that way I don't have any expectations.

Eat, Pray, Love is a solid retelling of a middle-aged woman floundering in life. She's too young for dementia and too old for hysterics, that's how I know she is serious. Happily, she finds it gaining 23 pounds and acquiring the nickname "groceries." I don't know what that means, but I guess she's just nonplussed when it comes to the small stuff. Weight can be shed and names can be changed with a swift flick of the pen in the view of a government official. That's pretty much how her marriage ended. I digress and am now combating the guilt of indulging in Sodexho cake. It's strange to know that I am more vexed by calories than the impossibility of me ever hashing out a fool-proof plan consisting of my immediate future. Maybe I should go to Rome and have that checked out. Who knows, I'll go where the free flowing energy of the universe takes me because I am completely subjected to its will.

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